Posts Tagged ‘X-Men’

If Professor Xavier were a ninja, What would he throw?

Friday, September 18th, 2009

Now, clearly Ninjas are awesome. But how would a ninja fare against Professor Xavier from the X-Men? My rational mind clearly and logically argued that a ninja wouldn’t stand a chance. But lo and behold, the ninja fanboi in me tried to argue, that Professor X would get pwned. In the resulting mental struggle, I was forceed to rip that stupid fanbois arms off, and beat the sense back into him with his own limbs.

Now as a side note, this should be a clear warning regarding how much I dislike fanbois. I do not even tolerate my own. So for future reference, don’t tempt me. You’ll just make me home sick.

Anyway, my inner nerd ran across something he thought might redeem him. Take a look.

X-WAR Throwing Stars

X-WAR Throwing Stars

Well, I’m no genius, but those look a little to me like X-Men themed hira shuriken. And (of course) my inner nerd argued that Professor Xavier could just as easily be a ninja.

Well… No. He can’t. you see, one of the trademarks of a ninja is their physical agility. And Professor X, you see, well, he can’t walk. Thus, he could not be a ninja. He objected to this line of reasoning, and I actually had to pick up his dismembered arm again to get him to shut up. I also had to point out that if Professor Xavier were a ninja, the question of who would pwn whom would be pointless, because he would be a ninja, and he couldn’t very well fight himself.

However, I did cede that *IF* Professor Xavier were, in fact, a ninja, he might use something like this. And he would be awesome, because he could throw them using his mind… :D

Wait wat? Dagnabbit nerdboi! Don’t make me go in there and rip out one of your legs…!  >: {

X-War Throwing Stars – [True Swords]

More Wolverine Claws – A Production Prop.

Monday, June 29th, 2009

Clearly, there is no lack of articles, props, models, replicas, and weapons, inspired by Wolverines infamous claws, in the world. And I will readily admit, without shame, of being guilty of adding to the never ending library of wolverine claw replica documentaries that currently exist.  In fact, you can read one of my original compendiums here.

But, as fate would have it, it does not end there. I’m about to add one more.Yes. And no. I will *nevar* tire of it. So deal. Here is yet another set of wolverine claws. But this design is actually a bit different from most of the others:

Wolverine Style Claws

Wolverine Style Claws

Yes, yes, I know what you are thinking: “Hey… hold on a second there Phyre… This looks like almost every other wolverine claw replica in existance…” Ok, yes. It does *look* like some of the others. But they are not entirely the same.

The thing is, Wolverines claws, at least as they are portrayed in the movies, have a very specific shape. So naturally, anyone who decided to make a pair based on the movie claws, would have to give the blades the same shape in order to maintain some semblance of authenticity. This is why they all look the same to some degree.

As a side note, if you were ever a fan of the X-Men, either from the comic book, or from the Saturday morning cartoons, you will remember that Wolverines claws have actually had a few different shapes, sometimes little swords, sometimes talons, sometimes simple curved reverse scimitars, to jagged bone, etc., All this in spite of the fact that they should never have changed shapes from the time they were installed. Except, of course, for the bone claws, which is canon in most Wolverine arcs. But I digress.

The point is, even though the blades are the same, the *grips* on almost every different iteration have been different. Some have been simple round bars, others have been knuckle dusters, others wooden dowels. So what makes this one special? Well no worries, I’ll tell you. Why? Because I’m helpful like that.

This one is different because this design is the first production design that I have come across that vrey closely matches the design of the prop actually used in the movies. Yep. This design looks like a much more cleanly finished version of the prop that Hugh Jackman wore in the X-Men movie:

Wolverine Claws - Bar Grip and Wire

Wolverine Claws - Bar Grip and Wire

As you can see, the original prop had the same blade basic blade profile, but had thick stiff wires that ran from each blade to a little metal bar that Hugh held in the palm of his hand. This design is almost exactly the same, except that on this replica, the grip is now a solid piece of steel, with wooden scales pinned to it, and instead of wire, it is connected as one piece to the blades via steel standoffs. All in beautifully polished steel.

But as nice as these are, this design, like many of the others, does have one major flaw. On the original prop, there were rear extensions on the blades, which were designed to fit snugly between Hugh Jackmans knuckles when he was wearing the claws, to make it look like they were coming out from between his knuckles.

Obviously this can’t be done with with mass produced reproductions, mostly because it is impossible to design a rear blade extension that would fit every hand. So replica manufacturers tend to resort to putting little nubs at the rear of each blade there instead. But the end result is always the same. They have to “stand off” the blades, in order to prevent those rear nubs from digging into the spaces between knuckles of the wearer.

However, it is largely a futile effort. For all but the smallest hands, if you ever hit anything while wearing these claws, those blade will rotated up back towards your hands, and those nubs *will* seek out, and mercilessly assault the soft and defenseless space between your knuckles. I ga-run-tee it. Those with smaller hands might be saved from the nubs attack. But you will *still* get finger wedgies from the metal blade stems. My advice? Don’t go all Wolverine crazy with these things on, bub. Your hands will thank you.

So there you have it. The first production replica of the original X-Men wolverine prop. Or as close to it as you can possibly get. Just remember. Just cause you got a set o’ claws don’t make you Wolverine, Bub.

Wolverine Style Claws – [True Swords]

Making Wolverine Claws – [Kris Abel's Blog]

Phyreblade’s Ultimate Wolverine Claw Reference Guide – [The Dark Blade]

The next best thing to Adamantium implants…

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

A couple of days ago I got a post from a reader (Thanks SniperFodder!) with a link to a page on Geekologie that showed videos of a very, very interesting set of home made wolverine claws. Here is the first of the two, very intriguing videos in question, mostly of the maker wreaking wanton destruction on some nefarious box of doom for some seriously heinous crimes we are clearly all blissfully unaware of:

Yes, all kinds of cool and everything, if you are into that kind of thing… Oh, who am I kidding, I love this stuff… I probably would try a more blade worthy opponent than an old box, but that’s just me… :)

What really caught my attention, however, was the construction vid that accompanied the shameless *cough* display of aggression above…:

Now as a person who has spent countless man-hours thinking about this kind of thing, let me just say that what this guy did was actually very impressive. Not that there haven’t been countless wolverine claw replicas and home made diy Wolverine claw jobs, but this particular construction dealt very directly and extremely competently with two aspects of arm mounted blade design that I have always found to be weak links in your traditional back yard / junk yard wolverine claw project.

The first and most common point of failure I see is in the blade attachment and rail mechanism. I see a lot of people use sliding drawer rails for the rails of their wolverine claws, and while it works, (works very well in fact), and is good for show, frankly, so far as strength is concerned, the vast majority of them wouldn’t hold up to the repeated stresses of cutting a slice of gouda cheese. Nope. Not even some “finely aged”, moldy gouda, half ready to decompose into a pile of technicolor goo.

Now this dude addressed this weakness by fabricating a simple sliding plate/tongue-in-groove rail. It is a design I’ve always thought would fit the ticket perfectly, but never had the time to try. And here, you can see it in action. Now I am, by no means, saying it’s a perfect solution. It has it’s weaknesses as well. In fact, you may or may not be able to tell from watching the vids, but that plate generates a lot of friction, so while it is really strong, it is also tougher to deploy smoothly. It also looked like he used a single rail tongue for all three blades. Not really how I would have done it, but it seems to work.

But the part that I found really impressive is his bracing. Yes, it is made of bent and brazed copper tubing, which I saw lots of commenters deriding him about, however what they fail to realize is that, assuming his brazings are strong,  his design eliminates one of the biggest weak points of any wolverine claw system. The arm attachment mechanism.

I see all kinds of wolverine claws or just home made arn claws/blades/ziphoids in general, with two little straps, maybe a soft leather arm band or something. The smarter ones go for a solid plate and attach that to their arms, though, again, with more little straps. The thing is, those little itty bitty strips of fancy arm floss just won’t hold up to strong impacts. They suffer from one simple flaw: They are too flexible.

No matter how strong the system itself is, straps and soft leather allow seem to allow the whole rig,to move backwards and forwards on your arm. I’ve seen this happen even with full forearm vambraces if the leather used to make them isn’t hard enough. In contrast, this guy used a solid framework of copper tubing that will not give, and is so closely fit to the dimensions of his forearm, that he should have enough stability and control with it that he could make bacon with those blades, should he deem it necessary.

What more can I say. The whole get up may look ugly, but mechanically, it’s really a thing of beauty. Incidentally, while the page I found these videos on say they are “fully functional” I think that depends on your point of view. Our friendly niegborhood Wolvie sports a set of double action, fully automatic blades. This guy, on the other hand (or, in this case, the other claw arm) made single action blades, (manual retract, automatic deploy) as far as I can tell. So it’s certainly close to the kinds of functionality Wolverine gets from his claws, but no cigar.

And just in case there is any question about what I mean by my earlier comment regarding the bacon, let me just be clear. Bacon is *always* necessary. But you don’t always have the opportunity to make bacon using a set of wolverine claws strapped to your forearms… That is just too cool for Ginsu school.. I’m just sayin. :D

Guy Makes Fully Functional Wolverine ClawsGeekologie

Wolverine Claws… Revisited.

Monday, September 1st, 2008

OK, so if you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you may know that I have several posts related to the topic of the retractable adamantium claws of our all time favorite X-Man, Wolverine.

In fact, I have talked about several different kinds of Wolverine claws, and innumerable miserable replicas and wannabes, from X-Claws that would most likely implant themselves in your knuckles, to the Bear and Pantera claws and so on, that would probably rotate down and try and embed themselves in your wrist if you ever tried to do anything even remotely Wolvie-like with them.

I think I even looked at the practicality of having claws surgically implanted in ones forearm… (Just as a quick reminder to everyone, that was a distinct “No Go”). However there is one last way to get Wolverine claws that i don’t think anyone has talked about. At least not until now. Probably because it would be the fastest way to get good old Wolvie to relieve you of your lease on life.

What is this new and exciting trick? Well… How about this. You cut off one of Logans hands, extract the adamantium skeleton (including, of course the precious claws) Extend the claws, fix them in place, and strap the whole thing to your wrist…

Yeah… I never said it would be easy. Or even survivable. But it appears that someone has replicated just that particular option. I give you: the Skull Gauntlet.

Skull Gauntlet

Skull Gauntlet

[Click Image to view full size]

Ok, ok, yes, yes yes, so Wolvie never had little skulls on his knuckles or embedded into his wrist. But the guys who are selling this assure us that it will make you and I look like wolverine, except better… Honest!

OK. Whatever you say. But I have one word for you:

BLASPHEMY!!!!

Absolute heresy. No external claws of any kind will EVAR look better than Wolverines. Just not gonna happen. No. Don’t even think about it.

BTW, In case you hadn’t realized, that last paragraph was my feeble attempt to short circuit any possible subsequent fanboi rant comments resulting from this post. I do not expect to see any more. Be warned. Lest you want a claw, upside your head. With a swiftness.

What? Don’t think I can deliver a claw upside your head over the internets? Please. Try me. Just try me. Please.

But back to the nitty gritty. What you are looking at is a very stylized satin finished stainless steel skeleton of a wrist and hand, with small skulls over each knuckle, and a larger stylized skull over the wrist, with what looks like skeletal bands extending down on either side of the wrist. By no means an anatomically correct representation, as it appears to be missing a set of phalangeal bones, and has some sort of structural webbing between the metacarpals, probably to short circuit any “Hey! You ripped off Wolverines skeleton!” claims, but good enough.

However what it does have are claws. Beautiful, beautiful claws. A set of three sweet steel claws extending from between the knuckles. And, in an unprecedented act of practicality, the wrist of this hand is attached to a what appears to be a leather band in the back, and in front, attached to the knuckles, a steel bracket with an actual grip!! Ye Gods! Someone could actually use this! AMAZING!!!

Providing no ridiculously weak joints exist between the blades, the bracket and the rest of the gauntlet/hand, I must admit, this is one of the first truly practical implementation of wolverine claws I have come across. I could seriously do without the skulls, (I see human, elven, dwarven and orc skulls all over the place in my cave here, thanks to the roach-like orcs that appear to have infested the place, and frankly, it’s getting old…) and all the extraneous steel (which we have discovered, thanks to the hands-on review by Sinza over at Exotic Automatic, is actually a plastic covering over a steel frame) wrapping down around the side in the back, but I’m stoked enough that it is actually a practical, though rather non-conformist, design.

And it’s a clever, if a little twisted, idea. to boot. Why try and remove the claws from the Wolverine? Just leave them on and strap his whole hand to your wrist instead. Heh. And I thought I was nuts. But in the greatest of ironies… I think this would actually work!

Who would have thunk it. I think I may have to restructure my universal paradigm…

*Edit*

Just a quick update. Sinza, a buddy, and founder of the Exotic Automatic forum, has done a full hands-on review of these claws, and has posted a lot of great details about it’s construction, as well as some practical insights it’s design strengths and weaknesses. He also provides some excellent suggestions on how to improve the design. If you are interested in this weapon, you should go check it out out here:

Fixed Blade Xiphoids @ Exotic Automatic

It’s about the 4th post in the thread. Enjoy… ;)

PB out.

Skull Gauntlet – [eBlade Store]

Wolverine Claws… In Black!!

Monday, August 20th, 2007

Well today I ran into something pretty cool. A set of X-Men Wolvie Claws… in black!!

X-Men Wolverine Claws - Black

X-Men Wolverine Claws - Black

If you have been following my blog, you may remember this post a while back about an similar set of Wolverine Claws. I also featured this previous set in my Ultimate Wolverine Claw Guide. Well, this set is pretty much the same as the other one, except that someone had the excellent idea of powder coating the blades and the handle black, and wrapping the handle in black leather.

The final effect is, for lack of a better word, schweet. Simply beautiful. At least in my opinion. This particular blade design still posses the same structural/mechanical shortcomings that I talked about in the other post, however at least these look much, much more sinister. Which, in my book, is better. Which earns the dark pair of wolverine claws extra wickedness points over the relatively wussy shiny pair…

Black X-Men Wolverine Claws – [King of Swords]

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