OK, so if you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you may know that I have several posts related to the topic of the retractable adamantium claws of our all time favorite X-Man, Wolverine.
In fact, I have talked about several different kinds of Wolverine claws, and innumerable miserable replicas and wannabes, from X-Claws that would most likely implant themselves in your knuckles, to the Bear and Pantera claws and so on, that would probably rotate down and try and embed themselves in your wrist if you ever tried to do anything even remotely Wolvie-like with them.
I think I even looked at the practicality of having claws surgically implanted in ones forearm… (Just as a quick reminder to everyone, that was a distinct “No Go”). However there is one last way to get Wolverine claws that i don’t think anyone has talked about. At least not until now. Probably because it would be the fastest way to get good old Wolvie to relieve you of your lease on life.
What is this new and exciting trick? Well… How about this. You cut off one of Logans hands, extract the adamantium skeleton (including, of course the precious claws) Extend the claws, fix them in place, and strap the whole thing to your wrist…
Yeah… I never said it would be easy. Or even survivable. But it appears that someone has replicated just that particular option. I give you: the Skull Gauntlet.
[Click Image to view full size]
Ok, ok, yes, yes yes, so Wolvie never had little skulls on his knuckles or embedded into his wrist. But the guys who are selling this assure us that it will make you and I look like wolverine, except better… Honest!
OK. Whatever you say. But I have one word for you:
Absolute heresy. No external claws of any kind will EVAR look better than Wolverines. Just not gonna happen. No. Don’t even think about it.
BTW, In case you hadn’t realized, that last paragraph was my feeble attempt to short circuit any possible subsequent fanboi rant comments resulting from this post. I do not expect to see any more. Be warned. Lest you want a claw, upside your head. With a swiftness.
What? Don’t think I can deliver a claw upside your head over the internets? Please. Try me. Just try me. Please.
But back to the nitty gritty. What you are looking at is a very stylized satin finished stainless steel skeleton of a wrist and hand, with small skulls over each knuckle, and a larger stylized skull over the wrist, with what looks like skeletal bands extending down on either side of the wrist. By no means an anatomically correct representation, as it appears to be missing a set of phalangeal bones, and has some sort of structural webbing between the metacarpals, probably to short circuit any “Hey! You ripped off Wolverines skeleton!” claims, but good enough.
However what it does have are claws. Beautiful, beautiful claws. A set of three sweet steel claws extending from between the knuckles. And, in an unprecedented act of practicality, the wrist of this hand is attached to a what appears to be a leather band in the back, and in front, attached to the knuckles, a steel bracket with an actual grip!! Ye Gods! Someone could actually use this! AMAZING!!!
Providing no ridiculously weak joints exist between the blades, the bracket and the rest of the gauntlet/hand, I must admit, this is one of the first truly practical implementation of wolverine claws I have come across. I could seriously do without the skulls, (I see human, elven, dwarven and orc skulls all over the place in my cave here, thanks to the roach-like orcs that appear to have infested the place, and frankly, it’s getting old…) and all the extraneous steel (which we have discovered, thanks to the hands-on review by Sinza over at Exotic Automatic, is actually a plastic covering over a steel frame) wrapping down around the side in the back, but I’m stoked enough that it is actually a practical, though rather non-conformist, design.
And it’s a clever, if a little twisted, idea. to boot. Why try and remove the claws from the Wolverine? Just leave them on and strap his whole hand to your wrist instead. Heh. And I thought I was nuts. But in the greatest of ironies… I think this would actually work!
Who would have thunk it. I think I may have to restructure my universal paradigm…
Just a quick update. Sinza, a buddy, and founder of the Exotic Automatic forum, has done a full hands-on review of these claws, and has posted a lot of great details about it’s construction, as well as some practical insights it’s design strengths and weaknesses. He also provides some excellent suggestions on how to improve the design. If you are interested in this weapon, you should go check it out out here:
Fixed Blade Xiphoids @ Exotic Automatic
It’s about the 4th post in the thread. Enjoy…
Skull Gauntlet – [eBlade Store]