Posts Tagged ‘Fantasy’

A Pirates Scimitar.

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

OK, so today you’ve got a POP QUIZ!!!

Only one question, Short answer. (Sorry, no multiple choice today. ๐Ÿ˜› ) And here’s the question:

What kind of sword do you think a medieval pirate would use? Hmmm? Take a wild guess. Go on. Give it a go. ๐Ÿ˜€

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BZZZZT!

Wrong.

The correct answer is: “It depends on where said pirates are from.”

HA!

Yes, yes, I know, I’m a bastige. That was a cheap shot. A trick question. And I’m actually quite sure some of you got it right. So… Whatever. What can I say? I just like to throw a few of them out there to keep you on your toes. Somebody’s gotta do it? Right? So why not I? That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. ๐Ÿ˜€

Anyway the topic of this post is actually related. I have here, a “Pirate’s” sword:

Fantasy Pirate Cutlass

Fantasy Pirate Cutlass

Actually it is called a Fantasy Pirate Cutlass, which is a good thing, because when I think about Pirate swords, my first thought is the stereotypical sword wielded by the classic European vagabonds of the seven seas. The Cutlass. Clearly, however, this sword is *not really* a cutlass. More like a rather ornately finished scimitar.

The curve of the blade, the wide deep clip of the spine just before the point, the cross guard, the hooked pommel, all of these say… “I’m a Scimitar!”. Not “Me Cutlass!” However, seeing as this is a “fantasy” pirate cutlass, anything goes… I guess. So I suppose I should let that go…

Anyway, notwithstanding my prior confusion, I really like the lines of this sword. Obviously it is not as dark as I’d like :D, but I can’t have everything now can I? At least it has a very cool blade, and an interesting hilt to match. The cross guard looks like a set of talons attached to the sword at right angles to each other, with a rather misanthropic looking skull emblazoned in the middle. Not bad looking actually.ย  ๐Ÿ™‚

Fantasy Pirate Cutlass - Hilt

Fantasy Pirate Cutlass - Hilt

The hilt continues with a studded leather wrap, covering the grip, which features what looks like a simple single choil at the top for added grip/control. The rest of the grip smoothly curves down to the pommel, which features another rather evil looking talon that curves to the front edge of the blade. Also pretty cool.

Fantasy Pirate Cutlass - Pommel

Fantasy Pirate Cutlass - Pommel

The stainless steel blade features an interesting rough cast/pitted steel appearance,ย  which lends a much more “used” feel to the sword. Overall it appears to be a beautiful and aesthetically well executed sword. I like it.

Fantasy Pirate Cutlass - Skull

Fantasy Pirate Cutlass - Skull

So, notwithstanding it’s failure to meet my expectations vis-a-vis being a pirates cutlass, all I can say is…

I wish it came in Damascus. Or black. I’m not that picky…

No, really, I’m not. Really… What?

Fantasy Pirate Cutlass – [StrongBlade]

A skeleton blade…

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Or, more accurately in this case, a skeleton grip. Either way it’s weird.

The Skeletar by Shane Sloan

The Skeletar by Shane Sloan

This is, somewhat appropriately named, the Skeletar, designed by Shane Sloan. I though I’d post about this knife because it has some rather interesting design characteristics. Some of which are serious flaws (imho) and others just… Unusual.

Let’s start with the blade. Sporting a very, sharp looking point, this I like. The rest… eh. it does have a nice curve to the sharp edge bevel grind, on the spine, which I will admit to also liking. The edge grind actually takes an unusual 90degree turn just before the ricasso, creating a blade shelf, which I thought was in interesting design statement.

The front edge of the blade almost seems nonexistent, possessing a very shallow bevel that is almost indistinguishable from the rest of the blade in this pic. Hard to tell whether it’s even sharpened or not. As a result, maybe even because of the lighting, I found the overall appearance confusing to the eye, the sharp well defined spine grind, and the curve of the blade almost makes it look like the main edge of the blade, making the grip look like it’s on backwards. But maybe it is, and that was the point. (or an accident that went exactly according to plan… ๐Ÿ˜€ )

The ricasso itself is unremarkable, except for the fact that it shrinks a little just before the hilt, disappearing between the split guards atop the grip, into a stub tang, that is bolted onto the grip. This design choice, gets a big thumbs down from me, simply because I think this is perhaps one of the worst ways to attach a blade to a grip. stubby tangs and bolts? NOT.

However the grip itself is a rather interesting dealio. Rather than go with the traditional full grip, the designer opted to create two sections, the black floating finger/choil area, attached to a contoured, cross drilled palmย  area, by a set of three pegs. If not for the choils, I would have been hard pressed to say which part of this knife was the front edge and which part was the spine…

That little spine/blade design oddity is what caught my eye about this knife. I guess there is something to be said for lateral thinking in knife design. Just so long as said lateral thinking remains firmly tethered to fantasy knife land… ๐Ÿ™‚

Skeletar by Shane Sloan – [Collectors Edge]

Unidentified Flying Objections…

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

No, no, no. Put your hand down, Pointdexter, I decidedly did *not* mean to say “Unidentified Flying Object”. I thought it would be a suitable heading for the knife this post is about, especially since i think it is a little… too much. It’s kinda… Well… Lets start with the picture.

Alien Spawn Fantasy Bowie

Alien Spawn Fantasy Bowie

OK, before any of you say “Hey now, don’t get your knickers all atwist, Phyre, it does say it’s a fantasy Bowie…” Let me preface my objections by saying… It’s my blog and I can rant if I want to. So there. Now we’ve got the whole maturity thing (or lack thereof) out of the way, let’s begin. ๐Ÿ˜›

I have issues with this bowie. It just feels wrong to me on so many levels. I mean, the blade is out there, all by itself, with some kind of weird wave motif, on some sort of mutant stem. The guard, coming out of some type of organic looking pod system, consists of something that looks like a chicken claw.

There are two, unequal length horns, or something, above the spine of the blade. (I mean seriously. Horns?) And the pommel looks like it is a stolen headpiece of an Aztec totem pole. The only thing I kinda liked about this knife (and when I say “like”, I mean I didn’t hate it) was the grip, which was all black, and adorned with some sort of veiny tree like pattern. I thought that was ok. The rest?… Meh.

All in all it looks to me like a failed attempt to meld aspects from the Tribal Aztec/Biomechanical/H.R. Geigeresque schools of design. And what an interesting failure it is. Of course this is just *my* opinion.You are all perfectly within your right to like it.

But I think I should also point out that you’re a dufus if you do. ๐Ÿ™‚

Alien Spawn Fantasy Bowie – [True Swords]

A Ludicrous Chopper.

Monday, June 22nd, 2009

As you may all have figured out by now, I love to rant about how anime swords seem to just keep getting bigger and bigger. And about how this constant increase in sword size seems to occur for no reason other than perhaps to compensate for other… shortcomings. *ahem*… Ok, so maybe that’s not fair. But it’s just kind of crazy the sizes these things seem to get to.

However, seeing as how the vast majority of these swords, apart from a few rare exceptions, are usually anime swords, I cannot fault the makers. But you can probably imagine my surprise to find that someone had actually made a real live humongosword, *without* the benefit of animated inspiration. Now the site I originally found it on no longer seems to carry it, but I thought I’d post it anyway for your humor/enjoyment:

Fantasy Chopper

Fantasy Chopper

Yep. Now this is a Completely Pointless Sword Of Unusual Size. (or CPSOUS… errr… OK, that didn’t work out the way I planned. Never mind.) I mean look at it. It’s HUGE!!! I’m sure you could chop down trees with this thing. Honestly. Basically what we have here is an seriously over sized, curved blade. With a spine that has the vestigial remains of what looks like tree cutting teeth on the back. (I’m telling you, this had to be one of those old fashioned, two man tree saws, in a past life. Seriously)

Fantasy Chopper - Hilt

Fantasy Chopper - Hilt

And look at the hilt on this thing. Sure it looks nice with the leather wrap and all, but I don’t think it was intended for human use. More likely for giants. Nehphilim maybe. There are one handed swords, there are hand and a half swords, there are two handed swords and then there’s this. What’s this you ask? Well it’s a 4 handed sword of course. What does it look like? Pffft.

Fantasy Chopper - Pommel

Fantasy Chopper - Pommel

Looking at the pommel, we can see it has what looks like a full tang construction, with the tang peened to keep the grip and pommel in place. But given the sheer size of this thing, anything less would be blasphemy.

The thing is, I cannot really think of anyone, outside of Hercules, The Hulk, Thor, or any similarly empowered fictional individual, who could wield something like this effectively. People seem to think bigger is better. But when it comes to swords, it’s not. As with everything, there is a point of diminishing returns, beyond which lies stupidity. And there lieth this chopper.

And then I keep seeing people writing comments saying things like “Oh yeah, I got this super duper humongosword, and I can wield it pretty easily.” Honestly people. Seriously. I’ve said it a gazillion times, and I’ll say it again. The ability to swing a sword around is NOT the same as wielding a sword. I read those comments and I get the impression that this is how some people think using a sword like this would be like:

Our hero rides slowly out from the sunrise, sitting tall atop a giant steed, massive sword slung across his back. Suddenly, he is beset by three bandits!! He stops for a second. “Your money or your life.” one of the rogues growl. Our hero eyes them silently for a few more seconds. Then, lightly tapping with his spurs, he urges his stallion forward as if they weren’t there. Enraged, the bandits set upon him, swords drawn, like a pack of wild boars. In a single swift motion, our hero reaches back, unsheathes his massive sword, and cleaves all three bandits in two with a single cut. Then, swinging it once again in the air to clean their filth from his noble blade, he re-sheaths his sword and rides on, as if nothing had happened…

LOL.. Yeah. right. In real life, this is what would have happened.

<REALISM ENGINE ACTIVATED>

Our hero rides slowly along, atop a giant steed, tired and aching from lugging his massive sword across his back all day long. Suddenly, he is beset by three bandits!! He stops for a second. “Your money or your life.” one of the rogues growl. Our hero eyes them silently for another second. Then, too tired to put up a fight, he attempts to reach for his money bag and give them all his cash. The bandits, mistaking his weary, spastic, uncoordinated action as a hostile act, converge upon him, short swords drawn, like a pack of wolves.

Realizing what was about to happen, our hero, now fully awake, reaches back to unsheathe his massive sword, but tumbles from his horse, as he tries to tug his massive weapon free of it’s sheath. But the saw teeth on the spine get caught on his cloak, and he spends a few precious seconds pirouetting wildly to get it free. Finally, ripping it loose, he swings it wildly at the nearest bandit… And misses. The bandit saw it coming a mile away and easily sidestepped the incoming blade. And before our hero can recover and attempt another swing, the other two are upon him, stabbing him repeatedly like a snitch being shanked for squealing on one of his own, in a prison yard…

<REALISM ENGINE DEACTIVATED>

Suddenly a chihuahua wearing a black cape and mask appears! Wielding a tiny rapier with almost impossible speed, the Little Masked Chihuahua routes the bandits, and rescues our hero from almost certain death. At the local hospital, Our hero proclaims: “I owe you my life little masked Chihuahua! How can I ever repay you?”. “First, get a smaller sword, my friend.” the masked Chihuahua responds, chuckling to himself. “Next, remember this day. For one day I may call upon you to provide me with chalupas. And you must not refuse me.” “Yes, little Masked Chihuahua… You are wise. I will do as you say, and I will never forget. Thank you!” With a nod, the Little Masked Chihuahua rides off into the sunset, leaving our hero to await his return…

Ok, ok, ok.. Soย  I went a little overboard with it. But you get the picture. Big swords are slow swords. The difference is noticeable even between regularly sized, reasonably fast swords, like a Foil and a Katana. So you can just forget about moving monstrosities like these with any kind of expedience.

Big? Yes. Intmidating? Absolutely. Deadly. For sure. Effective… ?

Not a chance. That’s why it’s called a “Fantasy” chopper.

Fantasy Chopper – [By The Sword]

Found! Rare Breed of Aquatic Axe!

Friday, June 12th, 2009

I found a rather unusual axe a few days ago. Perhaps it’s not *that* unusual. Especially for a fantasy weapon, since By definition, they really don’t have to adhere to any standardized design specification. However I thought it was an interesting design nonetheless, more or less because its’ designer opted to incorporate some interesting organic touches, and combined them in an unusual way:

Stingray Fantasy Axe

Stingray Fantasy Axe

We have what appears to be an axe with a cast metal handle designed to replicate some sort of animal horn. The shaft curves to one side, as it extends down to the grip, which is itself cast to look like it is wrapped in leather. The pommel is capped by a faux gold ring which, in turn, terminates in a rather cool looking little faux gold spike.

The head of the axe is equally interesting, starting with the two copper or brass looking rings that are made to look as though they are screwed into the faux gold plated horn haft. Attached to each of these two bands are the cheeks of the blade, themselves adorned with an almost Incan looking pattern.

The curvy steel blades appear to be embedded in, and extend from the aforementioned axe cheeks, and bear an unusual set of curves, possibly intended to replicate the wings of a great mythical stingray. Not that I’m any expert or anything, but I don’t know of any stingrays have that particular “wing” formation. ๐Ÿ™‚

And now that I think about it, horns of this nature generally occur on land animals, not aquatic creatures. But then again I’m no expert in horned aquatic creatures either. The narwhal comes to mind, but if memory serves, a narwhals horn is actually a tooth formation, and not an actual horn, like a stag or a deer has.

So we have, in effect, a stingray, with steel “wings”, ostensibly formed of horn, bolts, a stinger of unknown origin, and leather wrap, all, in turn, cast in some unknown alloy, and steel. Yeah. Layers upon layers of artistic metaphor at work here ladies and gents. It boggles the mind. Art. Gotta love it.

Of course this is the beauty of “Fantasy” weapons. The designer gets to pick what level of reality to adhere to. And how deep the rabbit hole goes. But when all is said and done, I think the overall look is actually pretty cool. A fantasy sting ray, complete with steel wings, and a curved, spike equipped tail. A work of organic art. Except made entirely of metal.

I wonder if this stingray is domesticated. Forget piranhas. I’d love to have an aquarium full of these.ย  ๐Ÿ™‚

Stingray Fantasy Axe – [Amazon]

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