And by “singing” I mean “singing blades of steel”. And by “in the rain” I mean “in an umbrella”. Am I confusing you? Well, alrighty then. Here, this should help:

Covert Umbrella Sword Cane

Covert Umbrella Sword Cane

Yeah, that. What did you think I was talking about? A Broadway musical?… BWA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HAHA HA… *cough* Silly…

Anyhoo, I’ve talked about swords and guns, swords in rifles, swords in canes, swords in pens and lipstick, (or rather knives in pens and lipstick – I don’t imagine a sword could really be well hidden inside a stick of lipstick. Unless said stick belonged to the 50 Ft woman. 🙂 ) so today I thought I’d switch it up a little and talk about… You guessed it! Swords in umbrellas!!

Yep. Unlike the “sword-in-non-functioning-rifle” idea, which was liable to get you shot before you ever had a chance to draw your sword, the sword-in-umbrella concept is so much more practical. So much more sophisticated. So much more… useful. After all, who’s gonna shoot a person armed naught but a lowly brolly?

Let’s say you and some random vagabond get into an argument. The vagrant suddenly pulls a gun. Then all you gotta do is grab your cool black ‘brella, raise both hands into the air and go “wait, wait, wait! Don’t shoot! I’m un-armed!”. Then you walk up to them and go “You know, I’m sorry, I’d really like to apologize for all this.” Then you pull out your sword and run the heathen through. At that point you can say: “Really sorry mate!” and walk off, singing, in to the dark, rainy night…

Riiight… OK. No.

So that would technically be low. Dirty. Dishonorable. Unsportsmanlike even. Like stabbing a person in the back. With a spoon. A spoon covered in warm ketchup. And then telling them you got their spleen and you’re gonna pawn it on the black market… I refer, of course, to running a person through when you could have walked away. Not the part where you are walking along, singing in the middle of a rainstorm at night, though that possesses it’s own unique… intrigue.

So let me categorically state that, if, in the aforementioned scenario, they are willing to talk, then you are obligated to talk your way out of it. Or run away, as fast as your little legs can carry you,  if you can. The “run them through” option is only for when you have no other choice, you are trapped, you cannot leave, and they are no longer willing to talk. And, of course, you are physically able to run them through. :/

Of course, I hate to break it to you, but the reality of life is that, if you actually did somehow find yourself in a situation like that, you’re probably gonna get shot. So be prepared for that possibility.  O_o  But it bears mentioning that if some idiot pulls a gun on you, then allows you to get close enough to them to un-sheath, and subsequently run them through with an umbrella sword… Well, then they probably deserved it.

Not that it’s OK, or right, or anything, I’m just saying… 😀

Covert Umbrella Sword Cane – [True Swords]