OK, so I’ll begin this post by apologizing for my distinct lack of posts the past few weeks… But I do have a good excuse. I moved!! I am now hidden away in a new cave, in a suitably isolated location, where I can hopefully blog in peace, without some pesky human happening upon my hidey hole (and me) and deciding it’s a good century to form a party and go Balrog hunting…

No, don’t laugh, it could happen… What, you think Balrogs can’t be swiftboated? Think again. Which is a shame, seriously, cause it’s the 21st century, and you’d think all that mess would have gotten old… But Noooooo… Ya crazy humans… But I digress.

Today I’ll be ranting a little about more human insanity. You’ve probably all heard me rave in many shapes and forms about how there are some marketing gimmicks that really could only have been the brainchild of a IQ challenged, maladjusted orc with a serious case of… Well… We’ll not go there today, suffice to say that there is a fine line between marketing genius and insanity.

Case in point: An interesting set of nunchaku called “Solid Steel Assault”.

Solid Steel Assault

Solid Steel Assault

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Ok. I know what you are thinking. And it’s a valid question. What’s wrong with this? Looks like a sweet pair of nunchaku no? Indeed, one of the first weapons I ever made was a pair of nunchaku. Notwithstanding the occasional lump on the head, and the once-in-a-blue-moon occasion with me writhing on the floor, in the foetal position, clutching at my nads in extreme agony, it was all fun. Good times, good times.

Yes. It’s a good pair of nunchaku. Not great, as it’s not a particularly durable (or safe) design, since It uses a bolt threaded directly into the shaft to secure the swivel bracket to which the chain is attached. And unfortunately this bolt has a tendency to keep backing out. But as issues go, that one is easy to fix. If you have the right tools. Though that would be purely academic to a person whose “half chucks” have just launched themselves into their wide screen TV, Wiimote style…

No. Not particularly safe. But my real beef is it’s name. Solid Steel Assault. Now what, pray tell, would you think this nunchaku would be constructed of, with a name like that? I’ll give you one guess. BZZZT!! WRONG!!. Nope. Not steel. Take another wild guess. Nice guess!! You get an invisible cigar. This nunchaku, Impressively named Solid Steel Assault, is made of… ALUMINUM!! Is that crazy or what!!

Now I’ll be the first to admit my alchemy is a little rusty, but aren’t Steel and Aluminum two different kinds of metal? So why, in the name of all that is sacred, would you give an aluminum weapon a name with Solid Steel anywhere in it? Actually… I have a theory.

I think they were originally going to make it of solid steel. Then someone realized that their fastening method left something to be desired, (IE it’s garbage) and decided to change the material du jour, at the last minute, to aluminum. Why? Because it would hurt less when someone came round to beat them over the head with it for their obvious stupidity…

Hey, I’m just saying…

Solid Steel Assault – [True Swords]