I was leisurely doing my regular knife ogling when I ran into what is sure to be a premier exhibit in “Phyreblades Hall of Jacked-Up Marketing Gimmicks”. It’s something i thought was marketed with a *wee bit * more flourish than was required. Take a look:

CRKT Fixed Blade MercHarness

CRKT Fixed Blade MercHarness

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This is the “MercHarness” fixed blade carry harness from CRKT (Columbia River Knife and Tool). Yes. A MercHarness… Sounds totally hard core doesn’t it… Yeah… “Fixed Blade Carry Harness”. Too cool. Could it carry your great grandfathers old 10lb pocket watch? Entirely possible. But is it just enough for the CRKT marketing folks to hang themselves with? This is what I’m guessing.

This “MercHarness Fixed Blade Carry Harness” is officially described as milspec paracord with the internal stranding removed, and little rubber “keepers” added. Yep. Now don’t get me wrong, I love CRKT’s stuff, one of their folders is my favorite daily carry. However seeing as I’m not a particularly sophisticated creature, I may be missing something here.

And this is it. As far as I can tell, this “Carry Harness” looks and sounds a terrible lot like just a fancy bit of rope. Yep. Thankfully the site I found it on no longer appears to carry it (possibly just out of sheer embarrassment, but who knows). But it seems to me just a little bit presumptuous to call this glorified length of gutted paracord a “MercHarness”.

But I could be wrong. You tell me…

CRKT MercHARNESS Fixed Blade Carry Harness thong/rope thingy – [True Swords]