You know, I’ve noticed a kind of trend in the collectible knife industry. There are, as you can probably imagine, several niche specific trademark weapon themes.

For instance, Every one will have, at one point or another, run onto the “Movie” themed blade, even if, as I have mentioned in previous posts, there was absolutely no call for a blade in the movie. In fact there are even some movies whose protagonists would never have touched a blade with a 100 foot, hyperspace extended, unobtanium pole, who still somehow manage to have swords made in their name. But I’m ranting now…

Anyway, other niche styles are the mean and practical (or at least practical looking ) fighting blades, which tend to be “Black Ronin/Ninja” styled. And then you have the more elegant and stylish types of “Fantasy” and hybrid fantasy/classical blades tend to follow the “Dragon” school of themed blade design.

Today we have an example of the “Crazy Fantasy blades inspired of nature” school of design, in which resides many of the most funky, impractical, wonky, and generally unusable blade designs, intended purely to showcase… Well, I guess you could call it “art” since that’s all it’s good for, but are basically freaky blades with a serious biomech fetish… Think reptiles, arachnids and H.R. Gieger…

One of the most proliferous vaults in the hallowed halls of the biomech school of blade aesthetics is that of the arachnophile designer. Here we find all manner of freaky spider, scorpion, Horders/Spinets and even dragon scorpakes/snakions, themed fantasy blades, (who knew such things existed??!) most with absolutely impossible ergonomics, that exist only for the purpose of art for arts sake.

Today’s weapon is yet another dubious chip off the infamous Blade Legged Spider block, this time from the warped mind of Tom Anderson, and sporting perhaps the most futile attempt (evar!), at appearing practical:

The Turantula

Turantula

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Yes, with a cool hip name like Turantula, who could possibly fault this… thing? I dunno. But I do know there has to be a reason other than art in order to find practical fault with things like this, and frankly not being the particularly artsy type… I’m at a loss…

Soo… We start with the basics. A description. What we have here is a black, ovoid carapace looking thing, with a push dagger style grip attached to the top of it, and a set of 8 blades riveted to sockets arranged around the periphery of the carapace to form the legs of a spider.

OK, yes. This would do some damage if used push dagger style. But seriously, you can’t exactly hide something like this in your boot, like a push dagger. At best, you could grab it from the neato little spider web wall mount that it comes with and threaten a burglar with it. Who would promptly laugh and proceed to stab you to death for the insult.

Ok, maybe I’m not being fair. Truth is, I actually like to design of the leg blades. And the T grip is not bad either. This isn’t how I’d put it all together, but from an artistic standpoint I like the overall idea, and the strategically designed wall mount is a nice touch. The thing is that It’s just so blatantly useless (apart from being an admittedly cool conversation piece on the wall) that it screams to be picked on…

But maybe it’s just me…

Turantula – Tom Anderson – [Collectors Edge]