Knives have been a hobby of mine for many years. So to some degree, at least in the twisted delusional little world I live in, I believe I generally understand why certain designs incorporate certain features. But every once in a while, I am utterly, and completely stumped. Yes. You could whack me over the head with a wet noodle and I’d go down. No really. Here’s an example:

Kershaw Whiplash Tactical Bowie

Kershaw Whiplash Tactical Bowie

This, as the label below it indicates, is the Whiplash Tactical Bowie, by Kershaw. Now I like Kershaw. They make some nice blades for the money. But this particular design just leaves me scratching my horned, hairless, flaming head.

They start off with a great looking, ostensibly full tang grip, and sporting what looks to be a strong fairly wide clip point blade with a cool flase edge… And then having taken one hit too many from a bong filled with month old belly button lint from a geriatric Orc, someone promptly completed the design in a way that should have been left in the mad stoners wonderland where it came from.

I mean seriously. Look at the slots in that spine. What is this knife supposed to be? A sword breaker? It couldn’t even do that, the slots are too small, and the knife is waaay too thin. For more thumb traction? Do we really need all that? I don’t think so Tim. This is exactly the type of design than just… irks me.

And then we have the grip. What the heck is that divot supposed to be? What is the point of having a full tang if you are going to violate it in such a heinous fashion? They might as well have just used a rat tail tang. And for what? So you can wrap your lanyard around the grip?

NEWS FLASH!!! The grip is for GRIPPING! The lanyard is supposed to go around your WRIST.  *NOT* around the *INSIDE* of the GRIP!!!

A full tang is supposed to provide STRENGTH!! You just don’t cut huge swathes of steel out of a full tang, just so you have a cute convenient spot for you to wrap your little kite string around! EGADS!!!!

I mean, honestly, who comes up with these things?

Kershaw Whiplash Tactical Bowie Phail – [True Swords]