The Realm of the Dark Blade

Konnichiwa! So I thought I’d try and come up with some clever title for this post, since both tigers and dragons are subjects, (in a matter of speaking) of this post. But, as you may probably have guessed by now, the only thing that kept popping into my head was  “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” Yes. So I took the easy route. Pathetic isn’t it? I have no imagination. *sigh*

Anyway, today I thought I’d show you more great stuff from the site of NineDirections.com, as Matthew was kind enough to send me more pictures of his work. The first item on the list today are more pics of the Ninja Shuko (Tiger Claws) from the last post on the topic. First we have a really cool pic of the Shuko hand hoop being forged.

Shuko - Forging the Hand Hoop

And here we have a couple of cool shuko just hanging out and acting all cool…

Ninja Shuko (Toger Claws) - Just Hanging Out

A pair of Shuko with their battle faces on… >: (

Shuko - Claws Out!

Enter the Shuko! LOL… OK, ok… I get it. Enough with the Shuko.

So how about… Dragons? Specifically Dragon Tails? Yeah, I thought so… Dragon Tails, also sometimes called Rope Darts or Dragons Tongues, are basically a small blade attached to length of rope anywhere from five to who-know-how-many feet in length.

Dragons Tail

They can be spun at great speeds, and controlled via cord or chain, can be used to cut or penetrate hard targets at distance. A rather intimidating weapon, indeed. I’ve always loved the rustic feel of raw sharpened steel, and Matthew at Nine Directions has, as usual, replicated the look beautifully.

Dragons Tail - Edge

So what we have here, folks, is a heavy slab of steel, with sharp edges, on a rope. You can’t beat that with a baseball bat. Yet another example of some excellent work by NineDirections!

Dragons Tail – [Nine Directions]

Ninja Shuko – [Nine Directions]

Ok, So I will readily admit that the title of todays post was highly influenced by thoughts of thanksgiving turkey…Light meat or dark meat… It’s all good… But I digress.

You may recall a few posts I’ve done in the past on weapons made of wood. Some of them have been about reproduction, prop or cosplay weapons, weapons you could give to your little rascals, or for cosplay (costume play), designed primarily to be a safe alternative to the real thing.

Macahuitl

However, I’ve also posted about weapon designs that, while made primarily of wood, were still quite lethal as edged weapons. The Macahuitl was one such weapon, using flint or obsidian blades, embedded in a wood frame shaped like a club, or a large broadsword. And then there was the Leiomano, which accomplished the same thing, using shark teeth, but packaged in a small axe form factor.

Leiomano

But I recently ran across an even more beautiful design, yet another based on the small axe form factor, but without any kind of hard blade material whatsoever… Just wood. Really hard wood… Have a gander at this:

Samoan War Axe

Now chances are, the edge would be nowhere as keen as that of a macahuitl, so this would be more likely used freehand as a club, or to break or dislocate bones than an actual cleaving device,  (unless you had a hard surface to chop against and were willing to keep whacking away until the job was done :/ )  However,  it is just a beautiful piece of work.

I just love this thing. Between the smooth and highly polished finish on the weapon, the Samoan patterns on the blade, and the absolutely evil lines on this axe, I just love it to death. Ok, maybe not to death, since I kind of like being alive, but you get the point.

The points on this thing are amazing. The deep bevel of the edge is accentuated by the light colored patterning of the blade area, making it look almost like a thick slab of dark steel. The patterning runs all the way down the shaft, stopping just short of the light colored jute or twine wrapped grip. The combination is just sweet.

Truth be told, I think this wooden axe looks more both more beautiful  and sinister than most of the other evil steel axes I’ve posted on this site so far…

And that’s no small feat for a weapon made entirely of wood.

Samoan War Axe – [My Armory]

And I’m not talking about a celestial body either… I’m talking a big ol’ heavy spiked ball on a shaft. In this case, almost 3ft of morning star, brought to my attention by a fellow DarkBlader who was trying to decide between this and a paltry mechanical pike. HAH! It’s like the ultimate no brainer! I mean, just look at this thing:

MEGA 35 Mace Club

I posted before about maces, those rather wicked bludgeoning weapons of medieval ages, and this is one of the more… intriguing… types of mace, The Morning Star,  or the spiked mace, easily recognized by the spiked nature of the head of the club. As if clocking someone upside the head with a weighted club wasn’t bad enough!

Though there was a good reason to add spikes to the already rather effective mace. Armor. Simply put, a spike is the easiest way to concentrate all of the force of a strike from a mace into small a number of spots, making it an excellent weapon for puncturing armor. This was a darn sight better than a simple club, since I’m betting people found out early on that blunt trauma was just not quite as effective against a heavily armored opponent…

And this would certainly do the job. A black 9.5″ spiked ball, sporting 2.75″ spikes, siting atop a black steel shaft just tends to grab peoples attention. Even if the grip is wrapped in some kind of faux black leather. No matter how you look at it this is a magnificent rendition of the medieval morning star, 35 inches of polished black, and shiny spikey pain, just quietly waiting to bring some pain…

It’s just soo beautiful…

Mega 35″ Mace Club – [King of Swords]

But carry a big stick. Today I will be posting not about a blade, but rather a stick. A big stick. Don’t ask me why. I don’t have an answer.

Irish Blackthorn Walking Stick

The stick is one of my favorite weapons. Very fast, versatile, extremely useful for both offense and defense. Also generally quite non-lethal, though it can be lethal if used in the correct manner. But best of all, they are easy to find, easy to train with and are one of the most innocuous tools ever.

The Big Stick. Can go anywhere you go, and won’t let you down. Gotta love it.

Just don’t forget the “walk softly” part.

Irish Blackthorn Walking Stick – [True Swords]

In this day and age of high tech steels, it’s hard to imagine how our ancient predecessors got by without it. There are so many different kinds of steels, used in so many different ways, from Skyscrapers, and tools, to bolts and belt buckles, that a world without it is almost unfathomable.

And yet they got by somehow. With simple materials readily available in nature. Thatched huts, stone tools, and yes, even primitive, but highly effective weapons. Perhaps not as cool as the ones we get to play with today, but pretty impressive nonetheless. Today I thought I’d talk a little about one example of pre-metal age ingenuity I ran into a long time ago, but still find quite interesting.

The Macahuitl

This is called the Macuahuitl, or Macahuitl. It is an old Mesoamerican weapon, most frequently associated with the Aztecs, and based on the much simpler wooden club, or Macana, used by the people of old central and south America. It is basically a wooden club, with pieces of obsidian embedded in it, often tied in place with leather straps or cordage.

Macahuitl Sketch

There have been many cultures that have used purely wood based sword and axe like weapons (which will be the topic of a future post). But wood, by itself, is absolutely horrible at holding an edge. And only on certain hard woods can you even create a convincing edge. Make an edge in a piece of soft wood, and you’d loose it cutting through a block of cheese.

A Fantasy Macahuitl - Tom Anderson

However, rocks with a high quartz content, like obsidian or flint, readily chip into very, very sharp, reasonably durable edges, and at some point, some enterprising Aztec realized that putting obsidian chips into the edge of his weapon would give it a particularly evil edge. The end result being a weapon that could be used in much the same way as the club it was based on, except with massive cutting power. Rather clever actually.

Macahuitl Blades

At this point I think it behooves me to point out that I believe the Aztecs were quite fond of smacking people upside the head with their wooden clubs, which invariably meant that, with the advent of the macahuitl, a new era of wanton beheadings and such was spawned, not unlike their Japanese counterparts. A rather unfortunate side effect of progress. Especially if you are a smackee. But I digress.

An Aztec Warriior with a Macahuitl

I find this weapon intriguing because it kind of marks a milestone in weapon design. Much like flint arrow heads over sharpened sticks, and stone clubs vs regular wooden clubs, this weapon, to me, represents not only the Aztec cultures first steps into true swordsmanship, but also the ingenuity of the old cultures.

A Macahuitl made from a baseball bat

I think nowadays we take for granted how important these seemingly unimportant little steps were for the people of the day. And that enterprising inventive nature is certainly something that I aspire to even today. And when I say “aspire to”, I mean the weapons building. Not the beheadings and human sacrifice.

Though there are times when I wish… Never mind…

Macahuitl – [My Armory]
Macahuitl – [Wikipedia]

Ok. I ran across a rather unusual set of weapons a while back. Weapons designed by an enigmatic Italian designer by the name of Antonio Riello. Weapons specifically for “Ladies”. Or so the site claims. Weapons designed to look like… Ladies fashion accessories.

*shiver*

Now in all fairness, they do appear to be fully functioning weapons. It’s just that… Well… See for yourself:

Gea

Say Hello to “Gea”. Yep. That’s her name. This spiked,  leopard spotted mace with gold chain and spiked pommel, is called “Gea”. Yeeeaaaah… So… Ok. Now I will admit to being a little conflicted about Gea. On the one hand, I don’t entirely think she looks half bad. But on the other hand, it looks like she was made on a TV show that was some horrific hybrid of “Pimp My Ride” and “Lord of War”.

Now don’t get me wrong. I would be the first to admit that aesthetics are part of the charm of weapons. I constantly proclaim my love of black weapons, and specific shapes, etc.. But this, these weapons, they seem a tad… unnatural. And this is not the worst of it. As if Gea weren’t enough all by her lonesome, Gea has friends:

Ida

Yeah… Pink. A pink Morning star, and a pink chain mace, called Ida, and Zoe respectively. Ugh.

*shudder*

Zoe

Now I’d ask that any ladies among my readership forgive my possibly sexist opinion, but I think these two cross the line somewhere/somehow. They fill me with the same kind of horror that AK-74’s decorated with “Hello Kitty” motifs do. (And, as you’ll see on his site, the venerable AK, among many others, is not immune to desecration by this guy either. Oh! The humanity!!) They almost seem like abominations of some kind. I just can’t help it.

When I look at Ida and Zoe, I can’t help but think they might look better in black. Or, perhaps stained in a deep blood red. I’ll leave it to your imaginations to figure out where I’d get the blood… err… red dye from.

Gea, Ida and Zoe – [Ladies Weapons]

I ran across a rather interesting weapon today, one that combines both old and new battlefield technologies into a contemporary defensive weapon for the modern gentleman. Or not. About it being a modern gentlemanly weapon, I mean. I guess it depends on your point of view. Most civilized folks these days just pack a firearm. Or pack nothing at all, and simply plan to get on their hands and knees, put their hands behind their heads and say “Take whatever you want. I don’t really need it.” But I digress.

Hammer Head Sword Cane

So this, is a hammer head sword cane. Quite the interesting design, a standard black sword cane, hidden in a smooth black tubular shaft, with a cast metal hammer head grip. On one side a standard hammer head, with cross grid patterned face, and on the other, a perforated spike. Quite a useful combination actually. And this sword cane, unlike most, uses a quick button release, which is an uncommon, but welcome feature in a sword cane. But for me, the most interesting feature of this cane is that hammer/point head.

In medieval times, a similar weapon evolved for the purpose of compromising the ever more heavily armored forces on the battlefield. Most swords weren’t really designed to battle armored opponents, and while most enterprising combatants simply learned how to use chinks in armor to thier advantage, it was sometimes easier and faster to simply compromise the armor.

This is where the war hammer design came from. Put a tough service point (or four) on the head of a small, but heavy impact weapon, and swing it, Louisville Slugger style, at your armored opponent, and you could punch a hole through that armor fairly easily. A small impact area (the point), combined with a relatively large mass (a hammer head) generally tends to do that to hardened metal plating. I’m pretty sure it would really just be a  bad day for the aforementioned armored opponent after that.

Medieval War Hammer

We don’t generally wear armor these days, however this design is still a good one for defensive impact use. You know, for smacking unruly peeps upside the head and whatnot. Especially for folks who’d rather not actually break out the sword bit if it could be avoided.

And assuming a solid connection between the shaft of the cane and the head (This is usually a very weak link in most sword cane designs) it would be all the more effective because of both the added weight of the hammer head, and the 100% USDA can of whoop a$$ that could be delivered by that pointy bit.

Now that I think about it, those medieval war hammer folks really knew a little too much about bringing the pain…

Hammer Head Sword Cane – [True Swords]

The Japanese have more than their fair share of interesting weapons. Probably because throughout their feud-ridden, battle laden, history they have often found the need to hide their weapons just as much as use them. As a result, they got pretty creative about hiding weapons in plain sight. And turning otherwise innocuous items into weapons.

However some of the most deadliest innocuous weapons in the Japanese arsenal were never actually weapons at all. Take, for instance, this rather innocent looking Japanese fan:

Japanese War Fan (Gunbai-Dansen)

Looks like a regular fan no? Except that it’s not. This particular fan is made of metal. And while it could easily have been used for close quarters defense, (on account of it’s metal construction), It’s real power came from what it was used for. It was actually a military communications device. This is a replica of the Japanese War Fan, aka Gunbai-Dansen, used by generals to signal troop movements on the battlefield.

Imagine that. All that power. All in a little metal fan. A wave here, an soldiers rushed into battle. Another little wave, and the enemy was surrounded. Pull the Queens wave, and you could probably have entire villages crying uncle, without ever spilling a drop of blood. Heh. Must have been good to be a Japanese Warlord back in the day…

And of course I’m sure it was also an excellent tool for smacking incompetent lieutenants upside the head in a pinch. Oh don’t look at me like that. They did too smack people upside the head in Feudal Japan. What? You prefer seppukku or beheading? Wait what?

Sheesh… You bloodthirsty barbarian…

Japanese War fan (Gunbai-Dansen) – [eBladeStore]

OK, If my heading made no sense to you, (in which case you have some serious sociocultural catching up to do, since I live in a cave, shun human contact, and even I know who these characters are) I am referring to the “Ghost Rider“, of comic book and now movie fame, (played excellently, I thought, but what do I know…) by Nicholas Cage, and Scorpion, of video game turned movie “Mortal Kombat“.

Now having got the introductions out of the way, a little more explanation of my heading. It is my suspicion, that the Ghost Rider, and Scorpion, are one and the same. Yes. No, my tin foil hat is not on too tight. I just checked it. No seriously.

Don’t believe me? Okeydokey then. I have proof. Really. Yes, of course I can show it to you… (N00b). Allow me to present exhibit “A”:

Ghost Rider Chain Whip

[click image to view full size]

Ok, Now see that? That is the Ghost riders chain whip. Yeah huh. Basically a massive chain, weighted on both ends. This one has a solid steel grip on one end, and a spiked weight on the far end, making it all the more… Lethal. Now here comes the fun part. Do you know what kind of weapon this is? No? Well I’ll tell you. It’s called a Manrikigusari.

Yep, a manriki chain. Ah, but of what significance is that? Well being the helpful chap that I am, I’ll say that the Manrikigusari is a Japanese weapon, and is more importantly, a weapon reputedly used quite a lot by… Yep, you guessed it. Ninjas! Now here comes the tricky part. You know who else is a Ninja? If I have to tell you this, you need to go read someone elses blog… Ah, yes. That’s right. Scorpion! You get a cigar and +100 internets.

What is even more interesting is that one of scorpions signature moves is to launch what looks like a chain from his palm at his opponents, which then impales them so he can reel them in and inflict massive close range damage… In later incarnations, the chain actually became a living extension of Scorpion… Sound familiar? Maybe like Ghost riders chains perhaps? I’m just saying…

Ah, but the similarities do not end there. Ghost rider spends most of his time looking like a normal human being (as good old Johnny Blaze, stunt biker extraordinaire, no less). But when he changes to the Ghost Rider, he has a flaming skull for a head. Oooooh Scaaaarryyy…

Coincidentally, (or not) though Scorpion usually has a ninja mask on, what you can see of his face generally looks normal. However he has this move where he takes off his mask and breathes hell fire out at his opponents. And I’ll give you one guess whats under that mask when he takes it off… Bingo! A fire breathing skull!!

And as if that was not enough, check this out. The Ghost rider is a hell spawned creature who has dedicated his life to metering out vengeance on those who have been wronged. Scorpion, is a hell spawned undead ninja who has dedicated his life to visiting vengeance on those who massacred his clan and killed his family… Freaky coincidence? I think not.

I’m telling you… These two are the same guy. Seriously. It’s some kind of conspiracy. No, I’m not a nut. Have you not read everything I’ve said so far?!? More evidence than you can shake a flaming stick at. And you know what they say. Your not a nut if it’s true… Bah. What do you know…

Either way, this is the sweetest manrikigusari evar…

The Ghost Riders Chain Whip – [True Swords]

OK, so I’ll begin this post by apologizing for my distinct lack of posts the past few weeks… But I do have a good excuse. I moved!! I am now hidden away in a new cave, in a suitably isolated location, where I can hopefully blog in peace, without some pesky human happening upon my hidey hole (and me) and deciding it’s a good century to form a party and go Balrog hunting…

No, don’t laugh, it could happen… What, you think Balrogs can’t be swiftboated? Think again. Which is a shame, seriously, cause it’s the 21st century, and you’d think all that mess would have gotten old… But Noooooo… Ya crazy humans… But I digress.

Today I’ll be ranting a little about more human insanity. You’ve probably all heard me rave in many shapes and forms about how there are some marketing gimmicks that really could only have been the brainchild of a IQ challenged, maladjusted orc with a serious case of… Well… We’ll not go there today, suffice to say that there is a fine line between marketing genius and insanity.

Case in point: An interesting set of nunchaku called “Solid Steel Assault”.

Solid Steel Assault

[Click image to view full size]

Ok. I know what you are thinking. And it’s a valid question. What’s wrong with this? Looks like a sweet pair of nunchaku no? Indeed, one of the first weapons I ever made was a pair of nunchaku. Notwithstanding the occasional lump on the head, and the once-in-a-blue-moon occasion with me writhing on the floor, in the foetal position, clutching at my nads in extreme agony, it was all fun. Good times, good times.

Yes. It’s a good pair of nunchaku. Not great, as it’s not a particularly durable (or safe) design, since It uses a bolt threaded directly into the shaft to secure the swivel bracket to which the chain is attached. And unfortunately this bolt has a tendency to keep backing out. But as issues go, that one is easy to fix. If you have the right tools. Though that would be purely academic to a person whose “half chucks” have just launched themselves into their wide screen TV, Wiimote style…

No. Not particularly safe. But my real beef is it’s name. Solid Steel Assault. Now what, pray tell, would you think this nunchaku would be constructed of, with a name like that? I’ll give you one guess. BZZZT!! WRONG!!. Nope. Not steel. Take another wild guess. Nice guess!! You get an invisible cigar. This nunchaku, Impressively named Solid Steel Assault, is made of… ALUMINUM!! Is that crazy or what!!

Now I’ll be the first to admit my alchemy is a little rusty, but aren’t Steel and Aluminum two different kinds of metal? So why, in the name of all that is sacred, would you give an aluminum weapon a name with Solid Steel anywhere in it? Actually… I have a theory.

I think they were originally going to make it of solid steel. Then someone realized that their fastening method left something to be desired, (IE it’s garbage) and decided to change the material du jour, at the last minute, to aluminum. Why? Because it would hurt less when someone came round to beat them over the head with it for their obvious stupidity…

Hey, I’m just saying…

Solid Steel Assault – [True Swords]